It Happened.

It happens.
Way to often.

It happened.
It happened to me.

There is no timeline.
Or checklist.
But you'll get through it.

"Sometimes the love of your life comes after the mistake of your life"
Now, I know this wasn't my fault.
Some days it's harder to convince myself of that fact.
But I didn't ask for him to rape me.
No one asks to be raped.

It's okay to not be okay.
It's only been two months.

Other people can't tell me how to move on.
They can't tell me that I've been dragging this on.
They can't tell me I need to feel more.
They don't understand how I am feeling.

Right after it happened, when people would ask me how I was doing I would say, "I'm not okay, but that's okay. Because one day I will be okay. That doesn't have to be today or tomorrow, but I'll be okay."

It's been over two months now.
I don't go a day without thinking about it.
But I have more good days than bad days.
It doesn't take as much convincing to get out of bed.

I'm getting better.
Am I back to how I was before?
Definitely not.
Will I ever be?
I sure hope so but I'm not counting on it.
Will someone ever love me after this?
Yes. I know this.

But, you know what I'm tired of?
People treating me like nothing ever happened.
But, you know what else I'm tired of?
People treating me differently because it happened.

It happened.
I'm still me.
I'm a little different.
My trust is a little harder to earn.
It's hard for me to be comfortable around new people.
It's not easy for me to go out and do things by myself anymore.
But I am still me.
I can still trust.
I can still get comfortable around new people.
I can still go out and do things by myself.
It just takes a little bit more.
And that is totally okay.

Because I am okay.
I'm going to be okay.
And so are you.
I promise.

Go out and do something you love.
Go out and be with people who love you.
Because they do.
Go eat your favorite comfort food.
Draw.
Write.
Take pictures.
Go watch a movie.

We will get through this.
We will be okay.